Romantic Expectations Painted by Directors
Across the decades, media romance has built love as abrupt, passionate, and fate-ordained: soul mates find each other and are immediately drawn to each other, conflicts are resolved at climactic points, and "happily ever after" is the sure outcome. Exposure to these stories causes fans to adopt idealized notions of romance, such as in "true love," "love at first sight," or unbreakable destiny. Holmes (2007) noted that media romance audiences were more likely to agree with such perceptions, expecting relationships to be effortless and maximally rewarding just because of fate.
But real relationships, in reality, flourish in everyday routines, gradual development, and sheer hard work, such a far cry from the titillating, emotionally involving tales depicted on the silver screen. Research indicates that repeated exposure to unrealistic media depictions fosters discontent and disillusionment with real romance because reality falls below movie-filmed ideals (Karantzas, 2017; Lippman, Ward, & Seabrook, 2014).
Psychologists have discovered many long-lasting myths about love that are reinforced by movies and television:
- Everything Must Be Effortless - Great love "just happens," needing little or no effort day-to-day (Karantzas, 2017).
- Grand Gestures Equal True Devotion - Only melodramatic or extreme behavior proves true love.
- Destined Partners - Love relationships succeed when you are with "the one."
- Rapid Resolution of Conflict - Arguments are resolved instantly and always lead to reconciliation.
Therefore, a study reveals that younger audiences are most prone to internalizing these ideas, comparing their own romantic experiences with media standards and forming distorted expectations about both romance and partner behavior (Galloway, 2017; Lippman et al., 2014).
The mismatch between fantasy and real romance poses several issues like:
- Disappointment & Dissatisfaction - When the relationships do not offer ongoing excitement or flawless bonding, people can be plagued by perpetual discontent (Lippman et al., 2014).
- Tolerance of Unhealthy Behaviours - Possessiveness, jealousy, and stalking are sometimes romanticized in movies so that it is challenging to see the difference between strife and passion (Holmes, 2007).
- Bereft Conflict Resolution - By bypassing the painstaking work of compromise, movies render audiences less prepared to deal with the patience that actual relationships require (Galloway, 2017).
The arrival of reality dating shows and meticulously staged social media posts has further complicated fact and fiction. Reality TV condenses and dramatizes love affairs, leaving an expectation that romance should be dramatic, immediate, and full of twists. Alternatively, social media provides a never-ending flow of "highlight reels", sophisticated proposals and birthday parties, hardly ever the fighting or drudgery (Pew Research Center, 2020). Constant comparisons can make people feel insecure and jealous about their own relationships (Manoshala, 2023; Twenge et al., 2020).
Despite their imperfections, romantic television programs and movies can have their advantages. Psychologists acknowledge that positive and optimistic doses of the same stories can increase commitment and satisfaction for some couples if realistic expectations are maintained (Glik, 2018). Romantic stories can foster bonding, caring, and even allow some to envision loving relationships in their own life.
Ultimately, the healthiest attitude is one of knowing. By perceiving the contrast between TV fantasy and reality, we can have expectations based on actual intimacy communication, openness, and growth, not just sweeping orchestral passages or climactic declarations.
Real love, unnoticed by the camera, develops gradually in the mundane moments of daily life.
Most heartbreaking and painful thing for me personally is : "being single with no girlfriend actually makes me feel inferior and often on social media, tv, even in public places (like bus stop, inside the bus, park), I see many people bragging their relationship. Also young people even started to behave in appropriately in public places like cuddling together, holding hands and walking, even doing intimacy with eachother".
ReplyDeleteMy conclusion :
The midia and social media content not only made the young people ignorant in terms of romantic relationship but also made the young people to lack loyalty, discipline and dignity.
I truly understand how you feel; it's tough to see others flaunt their relationships while you’re longing for the same connection. Remember, everyone’s journey is unique, and true worth isn’t measured by relationship status or social media appearances. Focus on your own growth and happiness—authenticity and patience will lead you to the right person when the time is right. You're not alone in this, and your feelings are valid.
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