Posts

The Power and Flexibility of Narrative Identity: Shaping Who We Are

Image
There are days when Anna feels like she is the heroine of her own story. She thinks of all the struggles she has faced, the strength she has mustered against all odds, and all the successes she has achieved, large or small that have defined her journey. But then, on other days, she feels like a victim, beset by circumstances she cannot control, dwelling on the moments of pain she has experienced. This is a process that psychologists have defined as “narrative identity.” On a very basic level, “narrative identity” can be defined as how we go about creating a story out of our lives. At a more complex level, “they find that narrative identity can be defined as a process whereby a person tries to make sense of his or her own life by constructing a sense out of a series of experiences.” Why is it that sometimes we like to perceive ourselves as heroes, while other times we see ourselves as victims? Is this all a question of perspective? The Storytelling Self As human beings, we all tell stor...
Post a Comment
Read more

The Illusion of Closure: Why the Mind Hates Unfinished Stories

Image
In the Netflix original series Stranger Things, the character Mike imagines an alternate ending to the story of Eleven, the protagonist. In this new ending, Eleven survives the battle after destroying the villain Vecna, returning to Hawkins to be with her friends and loved ones, building a nice life. This was different from what actually transpired in the season finale, where Eleven sacrificed her life to save her friends and the town of Hawkins, where all the attacks took place. If one were to ask which ending was more satisfying/preferred, they would choose Mike’s version. And it's no coincidence. There is a psychological underlying reason why we prefer complete endings instead of unpleasant/incomplete ones. A key theory explaining our resistance towards unfinished endings is the Zeigarnik effect. Discovered by Bluma Zeigarnik in the 1920s, the theory found that people remember incomplete tasks or interrupted activities better than completed ones. The brain marks unfinished exper...
Post a Comment
Read more

Stephen Hawking’s Questions and Brief Answers: Exploring the Universe in Simple Minds

Image
Stephen Hawking’s book Brief Answers to the Big Questions is not just a science book. It feels more like a quiet conversation between a curious mind and the universe itself. Written toward the end of his life, the book carries both intellectual sharpness and emotional honesty. Hawking does not attempt to overwhelm the reader with equations or technical complexity. Instead, he invites ordinary people into questions that humanity has always asked but often felt too small to approach. At the heart of the book lies a simple idea. Questions matter more than answers. Hawking believed that curiosity is the true engine of human progress. Throughout the book, he asks questions that sound almost childlike in their simplicity. Is there a God? How did it all begin? Is time travel possible? Will artificial intelligence surpass us? These are not new questions, yet Hawking presents them with clarity that makes readers feel included rather than excluded. Psychologically, this inclusion is powerful. Ma...
Post a Comment
Read more

From Swipe to Soulmates in Modern Dating: Beware of the Blurred Lines of Consent!

Image
In today’s digital era, relationships are evolved rapidly, shaped by social media, dating apps, and modern communication tools. With a simple swipe, people can explore potential partners, but navigating these digital spaces is challenging. The concept of romantic and friendly relationships has become fluid, and with this fluidity comes new terms, habits, and risks like the fast-paced culture of instant gratification. Let’s deep-dive into this new landscape that demands a deeper understanding of the modern dynamics, the terrain of today’s relationships. Modern dating comes with its own vocabulary, like "ghosting," "benching," "situationships", etc. which have become mainstream and seem normalized. Gadgets offer new ways to connect, but they also create challenges by complicating consent, communication, and commitment, resulting in confusion for young people. This can make it hard to differentiate, romantic partnerships, and platonic friendships, blurring re...
1 comment
Read more

From Overthinking to Calm Thinking: How to Rewire Your Brain for Peace

Image
Overthinking is referred to as rumination. It’s when you dwell on the same thought or situation repeatedly to the point that it disrupts life. There are two possibilities in overthinking: rumination about past experiences or worrying about future events. Overthinking often arises as anticipation for future events, based on analyzing past experiences. For some people, it develops as a protective blueprint to avoid future problems. It involves repetitive and obsessive thoughts, which seem like a loop. Basic human thoughts are driven by biological needs such as hunger, thirst, and sex. This need sends signals to the brain; the brain executes actions that originate from instincts. When the human brain evolves to address safety needs, it begins to identify threats and predict future outcomes to avoid danger. Over time, the brain continues to apply protective thinking to prevent danger. If this loops, it involves worry, rumination, perfectionism, and fear.  Overthinking can affect how yo...
Post a Comment
Read more

Hedonic Adaptation And The Emptiness After Achievement

Image
The brief high of success Achievements are often imagined as lasting sources of happiness. Getting a desired job, clearing a difficult exam or reaching a long awaited goal is expected to bring deep and sustained satisfaction. In reality the emotional high that follows success is usually short lived. The initial excitement, pride and relief gradually fade and life begins to feel ordinary again. This emotional return to baseline can feel confusing especially when a person believes that achievement should permanently change how they feel. Hedonic adaptation refers to the psychological tendency to quickly adjust to positive life events. Once a goal is achieved the mind recalibrates and treats the new situation as normal. What once felt extraordinary becomes routine. This is not a flaw in motivation or gratitude but a natural process of the human brain which is designed to seek balance rather than constant pleasure. When achievement loses its meaning The emptiness after success often emerge...
Post a Comment
Read more

Why Introverts Feel Drained by “Just Come for 10 Minutes” Plans

Image
There’s a quiet misunderstanding that introverts face almost every week of their lives, the belief that socialising is easy as long as it’s “short.” Friends say, “Just come for ten minutes,” as if the length of the plan is the problem, as if introverts decline because they’re being dramatic or shy or overly selective. But what most people don’t see is that for introverts, the exhaustion isn’t about minutes. It’s about mental preparation, emotional energy, and the unspoken pressure that comes with entering any social space. Ten minutes to an extrovert might feel like a tiny, effortless slice of time. Ten minutes to an introvert feels like a performance, a shift in energy, and an emotional transition they may not be ready for. The truth is, introverts don’t avoid people, they avoid the overstimulation that often comes with social environments. Even stepping into a room filled with noise, expectations, and unfiltered conversations can be draining before the interaction even begins. What o...
Post a Comment
Read more

Leadership as a Lighthouse: Emotional Containment in Crisis

Image
When the world feels like it’s crashing into waves, people instinctively look for the one figure who stands steady. Not the loudest voice, not the most decorated expert, but the person whose presence itself feels like a direction. This is where leadership transforms from a role into something far more symbolic, a lighthouse. A lighthouse is not the tallest building on shore, nor the one with the grandest design. Its power lies in its stillness. In its ability to hold light for others when everything around is drowning in chaos. As a psychologist, I’ve often watched leaders misunderstand this idea, believing they must extinguish their own emotions to be strong, rather than learning how to contain them in a way that guides others. In therapy sessions with leaders, from managers to founders to community heads there is a recurring confession that surfaces: “I can’t fall apart, everyone depends on me.” This isn’t arrogance. It’s fear. The fear that vulnerability will break trust. But emotio...
Post a Comment
Read more

The Emotional Wisdom of Stepping Back

Image
Written By Gurneet Kaur Jaitly, Counselling Psychologist RPS International, Gurgaon This Valentine’s season, rediscover how quiet boundaries can be. Closing message: protect love, restore balance, and bring you back to yourself. Valentine’s season is often filled with grand gestures like flowers, messages, promises, and public expressions of love. Yet some of the most meaningful decisions in relationships are not loud at all. Sometimes, they arrive quietly. Sometimes, they look like silence. Silence is frequently misunderstood. It is labelled as avoidance, moodiness, or emotional distance. But in many cases, silence is not about shutting down, it is about stepping back. It is a pause that allows a person to breathe, reflect, and reconnect with their sense of self. Sometimes silence isn’t distance—it’s dignity. Often, by the time someone becomes quiet, they have already tried to communicate. They have explained their feelings, asked for understanding, and hoped for change. Silence rarel...
Post a Comment
Read more

The Quiet Pain of Being Everyone’s Problem Solver but No One’s Priority

Image
There’s a specific kind of loneliness that settles into people who are always there for others. It’s not the loneliness of being physically alone, but the ache of being emotionally unseen. You become the person everyone calls when they’re breaking down, when they’re confused, when they need clarity, support, reassurance, or a plan. You’re the one who holds their fears together, mends their broken pieces, and gives them the strength to keep going. But when the crisis passes, when the storm calms, when they feel lighter, you notice something quietly heartbreaking, they disappear. They go back to their lives, and you go back to being the silent pillar no one checks on. Being the problem solver becomes an identity you never asked for but somehow mastered. People admire your strength, your emotional intelligence, your patience, your “I’ll handle it” tone. They trust you with their mess because you’re good at organising chaos, even when you’re drowning in your own. But most people forget tha...
Post a Comment
Read more