The Quiet Epidemic: How Society Built a World Men Can’t Survive In

"THIS ATM IS CLOSED NOW."

What do you infer from the above sentence? Maybe an ATM is no longer in service or something similar.  

However, this was a statement made by Atul Subhash, a 34-year-old AI professional and software engineer from Bengaluru, who laid bare the terrifying reality of judicial and emotional isolation faced by men. Before ending his life, Atul left behind a 24-page suicide note and an 80-minute video detailing years of systemic harassment, false cases, and financial extortion that pushed him past his limit.  

The tragic phrase became a rallying cry for men who feel evaluated purely by their financial utility rather than their humanity. His death was not just a personal tragedy; it was a structural failure. It highlighted how legal frameworks and social attitudes can be weaponized against men, leaving them feeling completely helpless, cornered, and stripped of dignity.  

While individual cases are complex and driven by unique intersections of psychological, social, and legal stressors, they mirror a broader global pattern. Male suicide is not merely an accumulation of personal tragedies; it is a major public health challenge that demands rigorous psychological insight, structural fairness, and actionable preventative strategies.  

Every year, millions of men globally disappear into silence forever. Their big ambitions, dreams, and the lives they could have lived die with them. The disparity in suicide mortality between genders is a well-documented global phenomenon. According to data from the World Health Organization (WHO), men account for approximately two-thirds to three-quarters of suicide deaths worldwide, despite women reporting higher rates of non-fatal suicidal behavior and depression diagnoses—a dynamic often referred to in suicidology as the "gender paradox of suicide."  

Women tend to have higher rates of diagnosed depression, non-fatal attempts, and greater help-seeking behavior. Conversely, men experience higher suicide mortality (~75%), use higher-lethality means, and suffer from underdiagnosis due to symptoms masking as anger and substance use.  

Yet, society continues to treat male emotional distress as an afterthought, an inconvenience, or worse, a punchline. We expect men to provide, but what do we provide them in return? Zero emotional safety. When problems arise, we tell them to "suck it up." This fosters alexithymia, a clinical term for difficulty identifying and describing one's own emotions. When emotional processing is suppressed, distress often manifests externally through irritability, substance dependency, or risk-taking behaviors rather than through classic signs of sadness.  

When men can no longer bear the weight, society often turns its head or openly celebrates their downfall.  

What followed cases like Atul’s, Saurabh Rajput’s, and similar stories of men pushed to the brink was an even more sinister phenomenon: the normalization of misandry online and in popular media. Across short-form video platforms and social media feeds, certain creators routinely make content mocking male victims of violence, abuse, or suicide. Tragic deaths are met with commentary framing men's suffering as "karma" or "poetic justice."  

On public platforms, such as a widely viewed episode of India’s Got Latent, contestants casually label themselves as "male haters" to laughter and applause, treating disdain for an entire gender as a quirky personality trait rather than bigotry. If a male celebrated a woman’s death or publicly declared hatred for women, society would likely condemn him. Yet, when directed at men, casual hostility is often labeled as comedy, feminism, "it's her choice," "you go girl," "karma comes back," or "empowerment."  

For individuals experiencing severe psychological distress, environmental feedback plays a critical role in whether they seek help or withdraw further. When public discourse or online social dynamics trivialize male suffering, mock victims of domestic abuse or legal battles, or frame distress as “deserved,” it reinforces a perception of systemic hostility. Hyper-polarized online discourse creates a strong disincentive for help-seeking. When men observe casual disdain or systemic apathy toward their vulnerability, it validates internal beliefs that their pain will not be received with empathy, thus deepening emotional isolation.  

From early childhood, boys are taught a dangerous lie: vulnerability is a big NO. Men are conditioned to process grief, trauma, and failure in isolation, with phrases like "be a man," "men don't cry," or worse, "spineless." Society often measures men's self-worth against their financial status. When job loss, divorce, or legal battles strip away their role as a "provider," they are often left feeling disposable and worthless, leading to existential erosion.  

We cannot simply solve the male suicide crisis by telling men to "just talk about it" while punishing them when they do. Dr. Thomas Joiner’s Interpersonal Theory of Suicide posits that serious suicidal intent emerges when two key psychological states overlap: perceived burdensomeness (the belief that one is a drain on family or society) and thwarted belongingness (profound isolation and loneliness).  

Labels of right and wrong should not be applied based on gender but by actions. Extremes from both sides, whether misogyny or misandry, are wrong.  

Furthermore, men often connect and heal through shared activities, missions, and peer groups rather than traditional talk formats. They build trust and process emotions more effectively through shoulder-to-shoulder activities, community projects, or sports.  

Protections must exist equally for everyone. False accusations and weaponized legal systems must be addressed with accountability to prevent systemic despair. To help men, we must actively watch for masked distress cues, behavioral shifts such as social withdrawal, anhedonia, or hyper-focus on work and solitude. Externalized symptoms like uncharacteristic outbursts of anger, chronic irritability, or increased reliance on alcohol and substances are also critical indicators.  

Most importantly, we must recognize expressions of utility deprivation, comments indicating feelings of uselessness, feeling valued only for financial contributions, or feeling trapped in unresolvable circumstances.  

A man's life has value simply because he exists, not merely because of what he earns, provides, or endures.