What Does a Love Failure Song Do to You Post Breakup ?

A breakup can be an emotional earthquake, toppling the very foundations of your sense of belonging and identity. In this emotional tempest, most individuals take solace in music. Yes, more so "love failure" songs. But what do we do when we listen to such songs of heartbreak?

One of the first things a love failure song does is to leave you with the feeling that someone else understands your hurt. The songs all contribute a great deal toward speaking for emotions of loss, solitude, and longing , whatever you yourself might be going through. Psychologists call this "social surrogacy." It implies that music can function as a surrogate for human contact. If others aren't yet getting what you're feeling, a song can represent an invisible shoulder to cry on. It reminds you that your emotions are real and felt by others, and that is something that is a solace in times of loneliness.

A break-up will reveal a mix of feelings: sadness, anger, guilt, missing, and relief, at times. It allows you to process the feelings listening to music that matches your current mood. This is what is called "emotional regulation" ,  the use of music to help manage and interpret emotions in a safe way. While it seems strange to listen to sad music when you are already sad, it can actually be helpful to do so. The music gives you a safe space to really experience your emotions. A song that "speaks to you" can help you cope with your misery, giving you the solace of emotional cleansing and slowly leading you towards recovery.

Love failure songs also bring on what psychologists call cognitive reappraisal, reassessing the meaning of what happened. The stories they tell of failed love, betrayal, or separation can help you see your own split up in a different light. A single lyric at times will make you realize that your own breakup is not failure per se but rather one chapter in your life story. Music, therefore, does not just comfort, it can trigger contemplation, self-knowledge, and even growth.

Though love failure songs are comforting and therapeutic, there is danger when you continue playing them repeatedly. Listening to the same depressing songs over and over would lead to rumination, constantly replaying the breakup in your mind and replaying your pain. This can make it harder to heal and, under some circumstances, would be a reason for depression. If the music is holding you back in sadness rather than helping you heal, then maybe you should stop listening, reach out for supporting friends, or try something new that brings joy and hope into your life.

Used in moderation, love failure songs can be like a comfort friend when one is broken-hearted. They provide validation of emotions, help process your feelings, and give the perception of company during solitude. The catch is balance, let the songs engender your emotions, but keep a space for acceptance, new experience, and optimism.

So the next time you're in the middle of a break-up, it's okay to press play on your breakup soundtrack. Have the songs take you through the pain, but don't forget to have them guide you into hope and new beginnings, as well.