Navaratri - The Journey Within : The Power of Boundaries and Assertive Strength

On the sixth day of Navaratri, Goddess Katyayani is honored - a fierce warrior form of Durga, born from the combined energy of the gods to defeat the demon Mahishasura. She represents courage, righteousness, and the ability to stand up for what is just. In temples across India, devotees pray to her for strength, determination, and clarity. In the cultural imagination, Katyayani is not merely a goddess of battle, but a symbol of unwavering conviction of knowing when to say no, and when to fiercely protect one’s values.

This symbolism beautifully mirrors an essential psychological skill: assertiveness and boundary-setting.

The Psychology of Boundaries

Boundaries are invisible lines that define where we end and others begin. They protect our time, energy, emotions, and values. Without boundaries, relationships can become suffocating, toxic, or exploitative. Psychologists often emphasize that healthy boundaries are neither rigid walls nor open doors, they are flexible gates that protect us while allowing meaningful connections.

Assertiveness is the voice of Katyayani within us. It is the ability to communicate one’s needs, desires, and limits openly and respectfully without aggression or passivity. While aggression pushes others away and passivity erases one’s own needs, assertiveness strikes the balance: honoring the self while respecting the other.

Why We Struggle With Boundaries

Many of us hesitate to set boundaries out of fear of rejection, guilt, or being misunderstood. In collectivist cultures like India, where harmony and self-sacrifice are often emphasized, saying “no” can feel selfish. But Katyayani reminds us that self-respect is not selfishness, it is strength. Just as she fought to protect the world from injustice, we too must protect our inner world from unnecessary harm.

The Benefits of Assertiveness

Psychological research shows that people who practice assertiveness experience:

• Lower stress and resentment, as they are less likely to feel taken for granted.

• Healthier, more balanced relationships built on mutual respect.

• Increased confidence and self-worth.

• Greater emotional regulation, as they feel in control of their choices.

Practical Ways to Channel Katyayani’s Energy

1. Start Small – Practice saying no to minor requests that drain your time or energy.

2. Use “I” Statements – Instead of blaming, express feelings clearly. For example: “I feel overwhelmed when meetings run late; I’d appreciate if we could stick to the schedule.”

3. Respect Others’ Boundaries – Assertiveness is a two-way street. Just as you guard your needs, allow others the same space.

4. Visualize Katyayani – Before a difficult conversation, imagine the goddess’s fearless stance, reminding you of the power within to stand firm with grace.

5. Practice Self-Reflection – Journal moments when you compromised your boundaries and how you could respond differently next time.

Cultural and Psychological Confluence

In worshipping Katyayani, devotees often seek strength in relationships, many young women pray to her for love, marriage, and harmony. But on a deeper level, this symbolism aligns with psychology: for love to thrive, boundaries must exist. Without them, relationships collapse under the weight of imbalance.

Thus, the sixth day of Navaratri becomes more than ritual, it becomes a mirror. Katyayani teaches us that protecting the self is not a rejection of others but an act of love. To live assertively is to honor both our individuality and our connections.

Closing Thought

As you worship Devi Katyayani today, reflect: Where in my life do I need to stand firmer? What boundaries must I draw to protect my peace and dignity?

When we embrace assertiveness, we embody Katyayani’s divine power; fierce yet compassionate, protective yet nurturing.

Written By : L. Padma Swathy

Counselling Psychologist, Chennai