Navaratri - The Journey Within : Nurturing the Self and Others


On the fifth day of Navaratri, we worship Maa Skandamata, the mother of Lord Skanda (Kartikeya), the commander of the divine armies. She is depicted holding her son Skanda on her lap while seated gracefully on a lotus, her four arms carrying lotus flowers and blessings. Her image radiates tenderness and strength like a mother who protects with both love and courage.

Culturally, Skandamata embodies nurturing, unconditional love, and protective energy. She represents the balance between caring for others and remaining centered in one’s own strength. In her lap rests not just a child, but the promise of resilience and continuity.

From a psychological perspective, Skandamata resonates deeply with the themes of self-compassion and social support systems, two pillars of mental health that are often overlooked in a world obsessed with achievement and independence.

The Psychology of Self-Compassion

Self-compassion is the practice of treating oneself with the same kindness, understanding, and patience that one would extend to a loved one. Psychologist Kristin Neff, a leading researcher on self-compassion, identifies its three key elements:

  1. Self-kindness – replacing harsh self-criticism with gentle encouragement.

  2. Common humanity – recognizing that everyone struggles; suffering is part of being human.

  3. Mindfulness – being present with pain without exaggerating or ignoring it.

Too often, we become our own harshest critics, punishing ourselves for mistakes or failures. Skandamata’s symbolism teaches us otherwise that the nurturing embrace we offer others must also be extended inward. Just as a mother comforts a child, we must learn to comfort ourselves.

The Importance of Support Systems

Alongside self-compassion, Skandamata highlights the role of relationships and social support. Psychological research consistently shows that people with strong support networks are more resilient to stress, recover faster from illness, and enjoy greater life satisfaction.

Humans are wired for connection. Loneliness and isolation, on the other hand, are linked to higher risks of depression, anxiety, and even physical health issues. Like Skandamata holding Skanda in her lap, we too thrive when we feel held by friends, family, mentors, or communities. Support is not only about receiving, it is also about offering. By nurturing others, we create cycles of compassion that strengthen both giver and receiver.

Symbolism of Skandamata

  • Seated on a Lotus: Signifies growth and purity even amidst life’s challenges.

  • Child on Her Lap: Represents nurturing responsibility and unconditional care.

  • Lotus in Her Hands: Symbolizes balance between giving love and remaining centered in self.

  • Protective Gaze: A reminder that compassion is not weakness it is powerful enough to shield and heal.

Her image teaches us that strength and softness are not opposites but partners.

Practical Ways to Embrace Skandamata’s Energy

  1. Practice Self-Compassion: When you make a mistake, pause and ask: If my friend did this, what would I say to them? Then say that to yourself.

  2. Nurture Relationships: Reach out to one person today - send a kind message, make a call, or simply listen.

  3. Create a Support Map: List the people who bring you comfort, guidance, or joy. Keep this list visible as a reminder that you are not alone.

  4. Compassion Meditation: Visualize yourself as a child and silently repeat, “May I be safe, may I be happy, may I be strong.”

  5. Balance Giving and Receiving: Reflect: Am I caring for others at the cost of myself? Am I neglecting the joy of giving? Aim for harmony.

Cultural Wisdom Meets Psychology

As devotees offer prayers to Skandamata on Day 5, her image reminds us that care is sacred whether directed outward to loved ones or inward to the self. Culturally, she embodies the archetype of the mother; psychologically, she symbolizes the inner caregiver we must cultivate within.

Compassion, both given and received, is not sentimental it is transformative. It builds resilience, reduces stress, and fosters belonging.

Closing Reflection

Maa Skandamata whispers: “Be gentle with yourself, for you too are a child of the universe. Care for others, but remember to sit in your own lap of compassion too.”

So today, pause and ask: Am I treating myself with the same kindness I offer others? Am I allowing myself to lean on support when needed?

Like Maa Skandamata, may we embrace compassion as strength like nurturing ourselves, holding space for others, and remembering that love, in its many forms, is the greatest source of resilience.

Written By : L. Padma Swathy

Counselling Psychologist, Chennai

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