When Tragedy Teaches Us What Truly Matters

Understanding How Calamity, Emotional Trauma, and Personal Loss Reshape Our Priorities and Relationships

By Gurneet Kaur Jaitly 

Counseling Psychologist | Life Skills Facilitator | Student Wellness Advocate

“Sometimes it takes losing everything to appreciate what was always most valuable.”
— Dr. Irvin D. Yalom, Existential Psychiatrist

Introduction: When the World Pauses

On June 12, 2025, Air India Flight AI171 — a Boeing 787 Dreamliner bound for London — crashed just moments after lifting off from Ahmedabad, claiming over 240 lives and leaving only one survivor  . Among the victims were:

• A mother flying in to surprise her son for his birthday;
  
  

• A young couple embarking on their honeymoon abroad;
  
  

• A teacher returning to resume classes after months of pandemic lockdown.
  

Their stories remind us — in the harshest way — that love, hope, and connection often travel with us, and that a single unexpected moment can change everything.

When tragedy like this strikes, it shakes our beliefs in permanence. It forces us to recognize the fragility of life and the sacredness of human bonds. No career, pride, or unresolved quarrel is worth living with “what ifs” in our hearts.

They bring emotional trauma, personal loss, and a sudden, painful shift in our awareness. In the silence that follows, we’re reminded of what truly matters: not success, pride, or victory in a debate — but love, relationships, and time.

The Psychology Behind This Shift

When humans face loss or near-death situations, their perception of life, values, and relationships changes dramatically. According to Terror Management Theory (Greenberg, Pyszczynski & Solomon, 1986), when confronted with the reality of death — even hypothetically — people subconsciously re-prioritize their goals. Material pursuits lose meaning. Instead, they seek connection, love, and emotional security.

These reactions are not just emotional; they’re biological and cognitive responses to trauma and uncertainty. Post-traumatic growth — a term coined by psychologists Richard Tedeschi and Lawrence Calhoun — refers to the positive psychological change experienced as a result of struggling with highly challenging life circumstances.

Emotional Trauma and Personal Loss: The Lingering Impact

Experiencing a calamity can lead to Acute Stress Disorder, PTSD, or Complicated Grief — especially when relationships are left unresolved at the time of loss.

“Unspoken words and unresolved emotions become silent grief wounds that never completely heal.”
— Dr. Shweta Misra, Clinical Psychologist, NIMHANS

Real-Life-Inspired Case Studies

Rohan and the Words Left Unsaid

Rohan, a 21-year-old college student, had a fight with his girlfriend Aanya. Angry and stubborn, he left her last message unanswered. The next day, she boarded a flight — which tragically crashed.

Rohan wasn’t just mourning her — he was consumed by guilt. He fell into a period of complicated grief, marked by insomnia, panic attacks, and emotional withdrawal.

The Pandemic and the Unspoken Goodbye

Sameer, a corporate executive, had grown emotionally distant from his aging father due to unresolved disagreements. During the COVID-19 pandemic, his father was hospitalized and passed away within days. Due to hospital protocols, there was no final phone call, no last hug — only silence.

Sameer’s post-pandemic depression stemmed not just from loss, but from missed opportunities to reconcile. "I thought we had time,” he later shared. “I was wrong.”

A Teacher’s Earthquake Regret

Nandita, a schoolteacher in Uttarakhand, lost her colleague and best friend in a local earthquake. They had not spoken for weeks due to a minor misunderstanding. When her friend died, Nandita experienced survivor’s guilt and fell into a cycle of self-blame.

She later shared in a grief session: "I would give anything to go back and say sorry. But sorry can’t be whispered into silence."

Siblings Reunited by Loss, Bound by Love

Aditi (38), Kunal (36), and Priya (34) had grown up close, but over the years, adulthood and ambition created distance between them. Busy lives, demanding careers, and geographical separation had turned their once-close bond into occasional text messages and obligatory birthday calls. Their parents remained the emotional anchor of the family .

Then the pandemic came — swift and merciless. Both parents were hospitalized within days of each other and tragically passed away without a proper goodbye. The shock was unbearable. The siblings were devastated, not only by the loss of their parents but also by the realization that they had let their own bond quietly fade.

As they managed the rituals, property, and estate matters together, something began to shift. Shared pain made way for deeper conversations. Late-night calls turned into daily check-ins. Old albums brought back laughter and tears in equal measure. One evening, Aditi quietly said what they were all feeling: “We lost our parents. Let’s not lose each other too.”

From that moment on, they made a pact — no matter what, they would take one vacation together every year. No excuses. No cancellations. Just the three of them, reconnecting. What began in unimaginable sorrow transformed into a renewed commitment to family. They learned that relationships are not automatic — they need to be chosen, nurtured, and honored.

The Universal Lesson: Pause and Reconnect

Why does it take a calamity to remind us of what truly matters?

That life is fragile. That connection is sacred. That no victory in an argument is worth the risk of leaving words unsaid. Moments like these force us to pause and see clearly: Nothing is guaranteed — except this breath and this love.

Let’s not wait for sorrow to remind us.
Let’s remember now.
Reach out. Forgive. Speak gently.