Toxic Femininity? Psychological Responses of Men to Violent News Involving Male Victims

 We often forget that men, too, are imprisoned by gender stereotypes." — Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

This article explores the often-overlooked emotional toll faced by male victims of violence and trauma. It highlights societal expectations of toughness, the suppression of male vulnerability, and the dismissive responses they encounter. Emphasizing empathy and understanding, it calls for breaking the silence around male pain to foster a more compassionate and inclusive approach to trauma and healing.

Ever scrolled past a news story about a man being assaulted, only to see jokes in the comments? Maybe you shook your head and moved on. Maybe it stayed with you longer than you'd admit. This is the reality for countless men who find their pain treated as a punchline. Silent wounds are still wounds. Just because the world turns its head doesn’t mean the hurt is any less real. Every story of male suffering reminds us: compassion must not wear a gender. Stories of male victims flash across screens, only to be buried under layers of skepticism, sarcasm or silence. In a society that demands toughness from men, acknowledging their pain feels almost taboo. In a culture that expects toughness from men, it feels near taboo to accept their pain. If we wish to have a gentler world, we have to open up to all pain, visible and invisible. Violence is not gender-specific. But empathy, apparently, still is. When male victims come into the public eye, they are too often met with disbelief or indifference. Why does news involving male victims evoke such conflicted emotions? How do men process these events without succumbing to rage, helplessness or numbness? In a world where gender talks tend to center around women's experiences (and deservedly so), male victimization is something that remains shrouded in discomfort, dismissal and ignorance. So many men from an early age are encouraged to "toughen up," adopting the belief that hurting in any way is a sign of weakness. For many, the first reaction is disbelief. Not just at the event, but at society’s muted response. Anger follows swiftly, mingled with feelings of invisibility and betrayal. Emotional suppression only intensifies the internal struggle: sadness morphs into irritability, shame into withdrawal. Public ridicule or minimizing comments ("Man up!" "He probably deserved it.") only fuel the sense of isolation. Men may experience identity threats, questioning their sense of security, their masculinity or even their self-worth. The constant internal battle to reconcile being vulnerable in a world that doesn’t validate male vulnerability takes a significant toll. Chronic stress, emotional exhaustion, distrust and even depressive symptoms may follow.

"When men are taught not to cry, they are also taught not to feel." — Brene Brown

Sensationalism, gendered biases and selective empathy patterns amplify emotional responses. Some men may compulsively consume more news, trying to make sense of injustices, while others disengage altogether to shield themselves from emotional whiplash. Neither path truly heals the underlying wounds. Even when outrage is justified, it’s important to recognize the emotional cost of constantly carrying it. Reactions to violent news stories involving male victims often represent more than just anger at one incident. They reflect years of collective pain and invalidation. Surviving the emotional backlash requires affirming one's emotions, bonding with supportive communities and regaining the right to mourn, to be angry, to be hurt without shame. The world might never change as quickly as we wish. But every conversation, every moment of recognition, chips away at the walls of silence. For the men carrying invisible scars, even small acts of empathy can mean survival and eventually, healing. Not all victims are allowed to be vulnerable. When male bodies bleed, the world barely flinches. Men learn early to cry inward, to heal in shadows. Strength is demanded, emotion denied. When the world refuses to mourn for them, men grieve in secret.

What damage festers when grief has no name? Invisibility is violence too.